


Honestly

by Obsessed_Fander



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Torture, Unsympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Unsympathetic Deceit Sanders, blood mention, let me know if I need to add something, wrote this before Janus' name reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:15:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24048799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obsessed_Fander/pseuds/Obsessed_Fander
Summary: Song Fic, based on Gabbie Hanna's song Honestly
Kudos: 6





	Honestly

**Author's Note:**

> Italics = Singing  
> Italics+Bold = Singing in unison with memory  
> Italics+Underline = Memory  
> Italics+Bold+Underline = Singing in a tone that’s almost shouting

Virgil’s P.O.V.  
I close my eyes, trying to sleep, but a vision flickers into view instead. I bolt into a sitting position, eyes flying open as I try to ignore it, blinking rapidly as though it will help. It doesn’t though, each time the darkness is replaced by his face, scales reflecting menacingly in the darkness. All the lies he told me, every single time that he made me feel worthless, that he said he was the only one who would love me. He would never answer directly, and the few times he did it was always a lie. I toss and turn, trying to get into a comfortable position. Eventually I give up, falling limp as I close my eyes, a memory stirring itself up. I feel like reality’s changing as the world around me swirls and blurs, it’s as though I’m falling into darkness, but suddenly I hit the ground, a dim light flickering in the corner.  
“Everyone else hates you, I’m the only one who could ever love you.” He says, and my thoughts start to race. This is the first time he started going extreme with his lies.   
“White lies but they’re getting dark” I sing softly, watching over the memory as it plays out. The world flickers again, to me in the videos, before and then after I was accepted. “Blurred lines but they’re getting clearer.” I watch as it changes back to the original memory.  
“Just tell the truth, it’s not that hard!” I sing in unison with my past self shouting it at him.  
“You’re crazy.” He hisses, glaring.   
“You call me crazy” Reality fades and I’m sitting limply on the floor in an abandoned room, shackles on the walls, blood dripping down next to them “So am I crazy?” I get up, standing in the middle of my room as I try to calm my breathing.   
“You know I’m right.” His voice whispers in my ear, and I don’t bother reacting, knowing it’s another one of his tricks to make me feel even worse.  
“Your words don’t hold any weight.” My voice rings in the darkness and he quickly disappears, knowing I’m too riled up to be messed with right now. I fall into another memory as the darkness closes in on my vision.  
“Why do you always tell me these things if you’re trying to comfort me?” I had asked, close to tears. He shifted, looking away.  
“I’m just saying the truth.” He claimed, avoiding the real question.  
“I can’t seem to get a straight answer.” I know what he said was a lie, but now it’s getting harder to trust anything he’s said. “Don’t trust you but who’s to blame?” He must’ve been a psychopath, he didn’t care about anything he did “I think you’re crazy” The world changes back to the abandoned room “But am I crazy?”   
“I’m just telling the truth.” The memory repeats, and something in me hesitates. What if he’s right?  
“Got me second guessing everything you say.” I see him appearing back in the Can Lying Be Good? video, acting so horribly towards me, so openly. “Thinking that I know you but you’re really a stranger.” It rewinds to him pretending to be Patton “Doing what you gotta do to get your way” I blink harshly, bringing myself back to reality. I glare at the empty room, starting to pace angrily “You’re reckless and selfish and you can’t help it!” I exclaim. “Say you’re talking to me honestly, but you’re lying to me constantly! All the bullshit,” I shake my head, my glare growing more intense “I don’t need it. And honestly I don’t believe it now. ”  
“I’m just being honest.” He said, mock-guilt appearing on his face “But I’m sorry that I upset you.” Yeah, like that qualified as an apology.  
“Say you’re talking to me honestly, but I don’t want your dumb apology. Say you’re sorry, you don’t mean it. Sorry but I don’t believe it now.” I sing sarcastically.  
“What’s wrong kiddo?” Patton asked as I walked through the common room, noticing my worrying expression.  
“Just a small problem with Deceit.” I had replied, and instantly he appeared in my head, hissing an angry reprimand.  
“Say too much but it’s not enough.” I had wondered why he was so upset. “Got me wondering, what are you hiding?” The memory changes to me crying in my bedroom after another one of his “Truth sessions”. I sing at the same time as I speak, “Did you lie when you called it love? Or am I crazy?” I looked down, tugging at my hair frantically “Somebody save me! Got me second guessing everything you say,” I see him insulting me again “Thinking that I know you but you’re really a stranger” I watch him change back from being Patton “Doing what you gotta do to get your way” I shake my head, trying to clear it “You’re reckless and selfish and you can’t help it! Say you’re talking to me honestly, but you’re lying to me constantly! All the bullshit, I don’t need it, and honestly I don’t believe it now.”   
“I’m just being honest. But I’m sorry that I upset you.” It repeats again.  
“Say you’re talking to me honestly, but I don’t want your dumb apology. Say you’re sorry, you don’t mean it. Sorry but I don’t believe it now.” I watch as my vision slowly decays, and it feels like I’m passing out.   
I open my eyes and I seem to wake up, once more in the abandoned room, but this time my hands are in the chains on the walls, and I’m kneeling awkwardly on the ground, my hands hanging next to my head. I look around as the blood seems to slowly increase, only to flicker back to how it was originally. I don’t even know where I am, or if anything here is real. All I know is that the chains are made of his lies somehow, like he created them by speaking them into existence with another one of his stupid fabrications. Have I gone insane?  
“Don’t know what’s reality. Make me question my sanity.” I look around panickedly, pulling at the chains restricting me. “Don’t know what’s reality!” I take a deep breath, the blood suddenly covering everything in sight, including me “Am I losing my sanity?” I ask, my voice corrupting slightly. Suddenly I’m thrown back into my memories, repeating the same cycle. “Say you’re talking to me honestly, but you’re lying to me constantly! All the bullshit, I don’t need it, and honestly I don’t believe it now.”   
“I’m just being honest.”  
“Say you’re talking to me honestly!”  
“But I’m sorry that I upset you.”  
“But I don’t want your dumb apology. Say you’re sorry, you don’t mean it. Sorry but I don’t believe it now. Say you’re talking to me honestly, but you’re lying to me constantly! All the bullshit, I don’t need it, and honestly I don’t believe it now. Say you’re talking to me honestly! But I don’t want your dumb apology.” I seem to break out of the song, but I have a feeling it isn’t the end.   
I hear commotion in the common room and burst through my door, running down the hallway. He knew I was distracted since he had popped in and found me in song, which means that he knows I couldn’t do much until it finished. As I race across the wooden floor I see him tying a final knot on Patton’s hands. I try to go faster as I see him readjusting the gags on Logan and Roman’s mouths, but just as I reach the room they sink out, leaving nothing behind. I skid to a halt, tears forming in my eyes.  
Anger swells up inside me and I feel the injustice of every horrible thing he’s done, every lie he’s told, every action he’s ever done even in front of me building, crashing over me like a tsunami as I realize just how horrible he’s been, how toxic our relationship was. He used me, abused me, he gaslighted all of my memories, he never gave me a straight answer, he lied constantly, he made me believe I was worthless, told me that he was the only one who ever could love me, acting as though pointing out all of my flaws was an act of affection, that it was proof that he loved me, and since I never did any of it back that I didn’t really love him. He made me beg for him to stay, pleading on my knees that I loved him and that I wanted him to stay. We never really “broke up”, he just stopped keeping up the pretense of doing everything out of love.  
I storm into the dark mindscape, looking around. I notice a slight difference in the inky black wall, something that only a former dark side would be able to notice, and I reach into the wall. It feels like some sort of weird goo, but deep inside there’s a handle for a hidden door. I yank it open, not bothering to shut it behind me as I sprint across the dark imagination. Remus controls it, just like Roman controls the light imagination, meaning that there are unfathomable creatures here, ready to destroy me in gruesome and unspeakable ways. The murder in my eyes keeps them away, either that or the fact that with each pounding step I seem to cause an earthquake, not caring as I quickly run over the landscape. Finally I make it to a dark and deteriorating castle, and I quiet my footsteps. I silently make my way down to the dungeons, and I pause as I see the decrepit room that they’re sat in. A bloodied, abandoned room with chains on the walls, each of them with their hands hanging loosely by their heads, their legs bound together in such a way that they seem to be kneeling. Remus stands over Roman, smirking.  
“It’s so dark here! It must be like looking into an inverse mirror of your life. Say, I wonder if Virgil will pop in for a visit, he used to be here all the time!” He taunts. I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut as I stumble backwards.  
“Alright, you need to be punished for showing others that you were upset.” He says, dragging me across the floor, down the stairs, all the way to where the chains are. Only a single light remains on, blinking quietly in the corner.  
“Please, no, I’m sorry! I’ll be better, I promise! Don’t leave me here!” I cry out, but it’s no use as he chains me up.   
That wasn’t the only time he left me there. Any time I “acted out” or really just did something he didn’t like he’d leave me chained up there for days, occasionally even weeks. There was one time he left me here for a whole month. It’s why it kept flickering back to me, but I had repressed it so much that I didn’t recognize the place, I honestly thought I was going insane do to the obscurity of it. Phantom pain flashes on my wrists and I pull back my sleeves. Faint scars show the outlines of the chains, and I wonder how I never remembered before now. I guess I just didn’t think about them. Anger takes over again and I step forwards, my eyes growing dark as I glare into the room. Music starts playing and he and Remus look up at the entrance in slight fear. I walk forwards, and as he sees the look in my eyes Remus sinks out, going somewhere else for now.  
“Cross my heart my heart and hope to die,” Cold footsteps echo throughout the room “You never crossed my fucking mind” He takes a step back “Do you know what your “little” lies do?” I ask, the edges of my eyes glowing black “Do you know what I had to fight through?” I ask, a bite coming to my tone “Nothing that you say is mildly true, spit deceit through shifty smiles.” I reach where he’s standing and he backs up quickly, hitting into the wall. “Two faces you’ve had for a while, you act like such a fucking child.” I’m growing louder, and there’s something in his eyes that tells me he’s finally realized he made a mistake. I can read his thoughts clearly, What did I do?! “Who are you now? You’re so hostile to me.” I take a thunderous step towards him, more of my eyes dissolving into the darkness “I’m feeling homicidal. You better run and try and hide.” Another step closer to him, his breathing rapid and ragged “I was living in denial. Through all this time you had me riled up!” I’m face to face with him “All the shit has finally piled up!” He opens his mouth pathetically, and I glare as he rushes something out, trying to placate me.  
“Virgil, you don’t have to do this! We can make up! Everything is okay!” He exclaims, trying desperately to calm me down.  
“There’s no chance of reconciling us! With the falsehoods I’ve been filing away! For months you’ve made these stories up! Sick from the untruths you’ve been throwing up!” He gave me experiences so horrible I repressed them to the point that I thought I was insane for remembering them! “Had me thinking I was crazy!” I overheard him discussing me with Remus multiple times, saying how he missed me, that I used to spend so much more time with him, that he was sad I had moved out and into the light mindscape. “But turns out I’m your favorite thing to discuss!” At this point I’m shouting in his face, and my eyes turn fully black, any and all color disappearing into the void. He won’t give up though, trying again to calm me down.  
“Wait, you don’t have to go that far! Don’t do it!” He cries out, terror in his eyes.  
“YOU KEEP ON TALKING, SHUT UP! YOU KEEP RUBBING SALT INTO THE CUT! BROKE THE CYCLE NEED TO RECONSTRUCT! YOU’RE NO USE TO ME I’M GIVING UP!” I let out a deep breath, turning my back to him. My hands glow with a mix of black and purple, shooting out three separate beams of light that unchain each them. I watch as Logan stares blankly, abject horror in his eyes. Patton curls in closer to Roman, who grabs Logan protectively as well.   
“We should go.” Logan finally says under his breath, and they all nod quickly, sinking out back to the light mindscape.  
“Baby you’re a loser and I’m ashamed to say I ever knew ya. A user taking all I’d give ya. I swear to god I’ll never miss ya.” I walk back towards the door, pausing for a moment “Swear to god I haven’t missed ya.” I disappear, popping into my room as the music fades “God I hope I never miss ya.” I sing quietly to myself, tears forming.


End file.
